|No one can resist an upside down kitty|
It is I, Howard. Mother is writing her new book Blue Murder. So today I will post one of my more popular columns: Useful Tips for Kitties! Once you’re done, don’t forget to participate in the Holiday Hop! You could win books from Mother, a $50 gift certificate or even a brand new Kindle Fire!
Getting Attention from your Human Staff
One trick that works really well is cabinet banging. Even when Mother is befuddled — wandering around at 5:56am trying to brew coffee and steel herself for another workday — I have discovered to get attention, stat! All you have to do is find a cabinet. Work a paw into the space between door and jamb. Pull back and — BANG! The humans will jump every time! A no fail way to get talked to and probably picked up, if you’re willing to overlook a little insincere threatening.
|Correct pre-bang position of cabinet|
Oozling is an important skill all kitties should learn. First, you must creep up upon your prey, silent as the grave. Then you must gently lower yourself against said prey. Finally, you seek to meld your own fuzzy goodness into the body of the prey, usually a human staff member or Mother. If you oozle them sufficiently, they will pet you endlessly and do you bidding thereafter.
|Me oozling Mother. (The lump beneath the covers.) I am overtaking her will…|
Bad Cat-Good Cat
This requires another household cat to be, frankly, an irritant. Or for you to be so relentlessly cute and cuddly the other cat slips up and looks bad by comparison. The success of Bad Cat-Good Cat depends entirely on the other felines in your sphere. I am lucky to have Salem for a big brother. He stopped caring what Mother thought of him ages ago. Look at his rude yawn as I politely greet Mother and inquire after her day:
|Aren’t I a good wittle kitty by comparison to that beast?|
Last But Not Least: Like Lady Gaga, Strike an Outrageous Pose
I confess I don’t fully understand what’s so odd about the last picture. But the human staff found it quite amusing. Humans! You never really “get” what they’re thinking, do you?