GoT: A Wish for Walder Frey

Walder Frey

The old sinner himself

I hated missing two blog posts while in Cornwall (Game of Thrones 6.7 and 6.8) but I’m too busy with my writing to go back and laboriously craft two recaps. However, last night I woke up around five am with another of my  certain-to-be-wrong theories, and I can’t resist sharing it.

Ever since the Red Wedding, I’ve despaired of Walder Frey ever paying for his crimes. So what if Arya or Jon goes in and skewers him or beheads him? He’s lived a good (make that bad) long life, sampled far more than his fair share of delights, and sipped wine contentedly while Robb, Talisa, and Catelyn were murdered before his eyes. A swift death is too good for him. And even if Ramsay Bolton himself decided to turn Walder into a lamp shade, the frail old goat would surely die five minutes into the flaying.

Not good enough.

As for Walder’s individual family members, all he’s ever shown them is contempt. He mocked his sons and didn’t bat an eye when his wife’s throat was cut. How do you make a man like that suffer?

I thought of a way.

Lately Jaime’s been riding at the head of an army he hasn’t used. (His rescue of Margaery fizzled and his near-bloodless coup of Riverrun was won mostly by words.) Surely GRRM and the HBO showrunners didn’t give him that army purely for ornament. I hope, hope, hope he takes that army north to assist Brienne and Sansa. And to do that, he’ll need to march his army through the Twins.

Jaime Red Armor

Jaime just the way I like him (with Cersei nowhere in sight)

But at the Twins, suppose Walder puffs up like the wicked old toad he is, says Tywin’s dead, Jaime’s nothing to him, and Jaime can forget about crossing? Jaime showed his ruthless side when dealing with Edmure, threatening (I hope strategically rather than sincerely) to take Edmure’s baby son, load him into a catapult, and fling the poor child over the battlements. If Walder refuses to play ball, perhaps Jaime will take a page from his dear old dad and seize the Twins in a Rains of Castamere-style massacre. Though Walder despises his children and grandchildren as individuals, he no doubt cares about his legacy. (Why else did he crave Robb, a king, for a son-in-law, and remain unappeased when offered Edmure, his leige lord?) If Walder, holed up in a tower, spends his last hours listening to his entire brood exterminated the way the Reynes were exterminated, I think he’d truly suffer.

Does that sound bloodthirsty of me, consigning all those hapless Frey sons and daughters and grandchildren to the slaughter, just to put Walder Frey through the wringer? Heh. Remember, I’m a mystery writer, hardwired to think in terms of murder and retribution.

Doctor Bones 10 - Copy

Visual representation of my typical thought process

Alas … when it comes to GoT, every prediction I’ve made this year has been off by a mile. And perhaps the “Jaime unleashed” theory only makes sense if he were trying to get back to King’s Landing and Cersei. (If, for example, he heard that Tommen had rescinded trial by combat, making her conviction all but certain.) Alas, after consulting the map of Westeros, returning to King’s Landing via the Twins seems unlikely.

Come on, Sunday! I’m ready to know what happens next.

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